I COME 1ST!

I’m not the average Joe… I’m not your average mail man… I won’t always deliver you things that you want on that special day..

You see I’m a real picky guy and unlike some guys out there… I actually have standards for myself…

I follow my standards along with faith…. Everyone must do that.. Even in the Bible it says *faith without work is dead*

And I don’t beg to *God* for a girl because begging aint the way… I’m so sick and tired of everybody begging for a man or woman… specially females…

But what I do is pray to *God* for woman that I would like to have…

When I pray.. I tell em...

“ lord… I don’t come to you much asking you for a woman cause you know how I am… but lord… send me an all around respected woman… I want a black girl… don’t matter if full black as long as she got black in her… cause I love my sisters… A girl with natural long hair like my mamma.. with nice teeth and a girl that has a big juicy heart filled with humbleness..”

I love a girl with a big juicy heart.. Aint nothing like it… Somebody like that makes me wanna grab a straw and find the veins that’s surrounding the heart and drink it till I get full…

And when I get full that means I’m satisfied because I know that I drunk from a heart that can not only share humbleness for herself.. But can be shared with a man that was dehydrated from it..

You see in *Phillipians 4-6* says "let your request be known"… so I make sure I tell *God* what it is that I want and need because he is the only one that I know that can provide those things to me….

So I’m walking in the store… and *God* put me to the test *round 1*...

Beautiful sister… asked her for her number and took her out on the 1st date to a restaurant and she was too thugged out for me…

“Lord.. I’m back.. I appreciate you sending me a girl and all but.. Why you had to make her so aggressive?”

And he said “my child because you didn’t listen to me“… so I asked em for another one..

He replied “ok“.. And put me to the test *round 2*

found this girl at blockbuster… and was looking at the romance section.. So I asked her for her number and I took her out on our 1st date to a waterfall…

Waterfall is perfect… nice date with nature… but this girl loved nature a little too much.. She started kissing up on me (not like I aint like it)… and wanted to reveal the nature of her inner thighs to me within 40 mins..

And I went back to *God* and said

“lord… I told you I wanted an all around respected girl… why you send me that garbage? You knew waste management was suppose to pick her up last Monday..Why is that I never can get the one I’m looking for?"

And he said “my child, because you didn’t listen to me“… so I asked him for another one…

“alright" he replied.. "but I’m not sending you any more.. U better know what to do with this one”

So I saw this girl at work and she was the pretty girl girl with long hair and straight teeth that I had asked about…

And I spoke to her and we started vibin.. And asked her for her number and said I wanted to take her out tomorrow…

And she said "oh where you taking me? Seafood restaurant.. Poetry club?"

Don’t worry bout it.. Just put on the flyest outfit you can find and I’m gonna pick you up round 10 in da morning…

“10 in da morning? Where we going?”

Man we going to church….. “Church?”

Yeah church… didn’t I say in the beginning that I’m not the average Joe?

You see I just thought about it.. People wonder why they relationships don’t last long and I found that answer…

*God* gave me 3 tries to get my act together… He said "I come 1st in everything you do"… and a lot of folks forget that I’m in charge of your romance…"

that’s why its so many kids without fathers and parents that cant solve they problems…

"2 lovers can tell each other that they love em everyday… they both spend time with each other almost everyday…. And they say they miss you when they both miles away…"

"But I’m more than just miles away… why cant you tell me that you love me everyday? Why cant we keep a long distant relationship and tell me every now and then that you’ve been thinking bout me?"

"Why cant you hold your pillow tight and cry over me all all night?"

"But when a man or woman gave you cards and things for the past 7 months… don’t mean nothing…"

"I’ve been giving you things all your life from birth to death… and you cant cry over me?

You can go to the club and dance but in my house you shy of me?"

"Exactly.. that’s why I’m gonna end it between the 2 of you.. Because I thought you was gone claim me as your boo… I don’t ask much from you… "

"So break up with me and leave me out of your life…. And get into a relationship and see how much hell you go through!!"

FRIENEMY ROMANCE

If there’s ever a time when u need a place 2 rest & lay yo head.. I gotchu.. Kuz the bed & pillow I have prepared is all soft and fluffy for your relaxation meditation 2 free yo mind from the stress & pain that was caused by yo man..

*Cause it seems like he has a reputation of making his bed hard 4 women 2 lay in it uncomfortably.. with a pillow replaced by a rock to make sho you’d get no chance 2 sleep..*

No chance to eat or breath kuz your dreams of living the life of being held in the arms of prince charms like a real queen, confiscated the food out your belly and clogged your air supply 2 love him..

*How dare he, 2 face his image 2 lead yo heartbeat in the directions of misconception of his true character..*

Like when he pulled the Ethiopian stunt sayin he was a dog huntin 4 a virtuous woman to feed the hungry but behind closed doors aimed to reside in yo house and eat all yo shit up..

*Ran up yo credit along with monitoring your blood pressure with an inhale of herb 2 see how high it could exceed..*

Then waited patiently like Suge Knight for u 2 hit boiling point so he could set u up when u got ready 2 leave.. and restrain u with strike 2 da face.. cause aint no escape outta death row records..

*U fell into the palms of Mike Myers .. he constantly keep targeting u as his prey to gut your womanhood ..*

Water down yo spirit to make you feel less than what God created you to be.. not only did he miscount his blessings, but he mistreated them by telling you that the embryo he implanted inside u could die for all he gave a damn..

*Somebody needs to lend a helping these women and stand straight up in these jokaz faces with they chest poked..*

Shoulders broad, eyes squinted, and fist bawled to say we don’t take yo disrespect in consideration..

*Its hard enough as it is for a woman 2 find a good man in this nation.. So why be da instigator of her insecurity?*

Why should she have 2 use makeup to enhance her outer beauty from the blue bruises you imprinted?

*Enough questions asked .. I hope God create a lions den part 2 for u.. except subtract the lions.. Throw some young boys in there who were victims of double mbm .. Mothers mauled by men ..*

So they can beat the bitch outta you… then subtract the boys and install mirrors surrounding your presence so you can battle yourself ..

*Cause u need 2 gain self discipline on how 2 man up by sharing the bed with these women instead of manning down by forcing her to sleep on the hard cold floor with the comforter in your possession..*

Plain selfishness, I’m sick of brothers like you.. U make it just that much harder 4 men like me 2 oxy clean da stain u left on her life..

*Baby lift yo head up.. I laid out a soft bed for you .. Ralph lauren silk comforters, pillow fluffed, and some cash on da dresser for you to get yo hair and nails redone from wrestling with Ike Turner for decades..*

Then return home kuz I gotta selection of clothing layed out for u.. Balenciaga, Betsey Johnson and louboutin heels .. Pick whatever u feel that’ll make u adapt sexiness again inside and out..

*Then step out in public months later and bump into dat low down fool again.. And he gone drop a compliment saying “u look better than ever”*

Reply back saying thank you, I preciate u .. for da hell x’s hell u put me through.. U built my character.. And I think I speak on behalf of all women when I say …

*what don’t break a chick, make a chick!!*

MY 20TH B-DAY (MY AND BROTHER DRUNK)

*My 20th B-day* was small, I'm real low key.. but me and my brother was tow up.. my homie Brandon was there too watchin lol!

SPECIAL NEWS & THANKS!

For those thats been following me for the past month you know that I entered a big competition in the bay area.. The contest was signed by *Russel Simmons*, ran by a local man by the name of Eric Green..

Over *600 ppl auditioned* in the bay area, *40*went to the semis, *10* went to the finals.. Its was 5 categories, rapping, singing, dancing, spoken word, & miscellaneous.. as a primary spoken word artist I gave my homie Octavious *(From my hometown)* the chance to enter the category.. I myself chose to do *stand up comedy* in miscellaneous..

1 winner from every category won.. I ended up winning along with my homie *Octavious*.. 1 girl *(a fan)* came from out of town, paid *$14* at the door just to see me perform for 4 minutes.. I was kinda amazed by the impact I make on the internet, and its only gonna get worse..

At the end of the day I got what I wanted, I got my money & goin 2 *New York, LA, Miami* & so and so.. but overall I just wanted to show my mother that her son had a gift that *God* has blessed him with.. She thought I was completely crazy when she found out 1 month ago I was making insane videos, then was thrown off track when she found out I was into comedy..

*"Get a job son, work a 9-5, go to school"* she said.. Thats what every parent wants for their kids.. work, school, family, die.. Even though I may be taking a *HUGE* risk by not being in school, I promised myself as long as I'm progressing, making money, & not falling.. I will continue to keep doing what I'm doing..

If theres ever a time when I'm not moving then I will go back.. until then, my fire is still burning.. I'm just glad I proved her wrong.. I had the crowd in *tears screaming*, hell most of the laughs I heard was my mama behind my camera that she recorded..

But anyway I aint hear to preach & get into a sermon.. I just wanna say thank you 2 *ALL* the ppl that supported me, said "good luck, I'm praying for you" before my performance & all the ppl that complimented me afterwards.. Its hard 4 me 2 get at ppl 1 by 1 so writing notes is the only way 2 get 2 ALL..

*I still got a long way 2 go.. some things I wont tell/expose just yet cause I have big plans/plots comin up.. but once again I just wanna say thanks.. I love yall, foreal.. all this means alot!*

I NEED HELP!

*Instead of writing a poem, I just wrote..*

Its alota ppl that call me *crazy*, & I have no problem with that.. But its 2 different types of *crazy*.. 1 is insanity, the other is not understanding.. I classify myself as *misunderstood!*

I have an issue with ppl not taking me seriously, so it leads into me doing *outrageous* things that make you think in such a way..

The majority of times you'll see me (J.B) smiling, laughing, & most of all joking.. but behind closed doors I cant find 1 person to let errthang loose to to save my life besides God..

I have a *BIG* issue with excuses/being let down.. My life doesn't hold nor will tolerate it.. I believe in making time & doing what you want to do.. Excuses is just something made to try to cover your ass..

I wake up early in the morning damn near err week to drive *1 1/2 hours away* to dedicate my time to incarcerated youths facing Adult life sentences in a county jail for *FREE!* Wake up err morning creating jokes, thinking of new ways 2 entertain yall just to reach where I wanna be.. And I could giva fuck about the fame lifestyle..

*My whole reason for being here is to be a messenger*, I just so happen to be blessed to have numerous of talents that can kick down doors so I can be heard.. Besides all of that, I feel like I have no other reason of being here.. It aint cause my mama, sister, grandma, family.. Its cause I know God has installed that passion inside of me, so I chose to do so according to his will..

I have many dark days & I feel alone.. Its times when I feel like "why am I even here? .. Nobody cares".. I have no *REAL* ppl to turn to & that shit alone can drive u crazy..

since *January* this year, my cell phone has gotten quiet.. I remember hitting a record breaking of not receiving 1 text or call for 2 whole weeks last month.. Sometimes I just wanna talk, but to a person with some fucking sense that think *LOGICALLY*, not strictly opinionated!

Sometimes I get tired of being me, sometimes I think about leaving the country & turning *Muslim* like *loon*.. He looks *happy*, I wonder if I'd be/feel alot more *peaceful?* I haven't found the correct peace I been searching for in Baptist.. maybe thats y I haven't attended church in so long!?

*Sometimes I just dont know.. I just dont know man.. I just wanna get away..*

I need somebody who can put up with me, never get tired & check on me frequently.. somebody who dont overlook me..

I dont know man.. I just need some fucking help, & *God* is a constant struggle to depend on when u cant see, touch, feel, or hear em.. I'm just sayin!

*But I'm NOT insane.. Or maybe I am? ... Never mind, dont pay me no fuckin attention!*

LMFAO FEAT LIL JON

Some ppl tell me they dont like this *song*.. I kinda like it, I think its exits your mind off the *hood/street* shit & just tells you to have fun.. Even though *Lil Jon* aint out like he used to be.. He still made this song *Hot* to me.. *Very Diverse*

TAKE IT BACK

Taking it back 2 when *Nickelodeon* was actually *The Shit*

OLD SCHOOL.. CUTTIN MY HAIR!

Heres an old school clip of when I used 2 have hair.. This is when my *Video Saga* started..

THE GENDER FIGHT BREAKDOWN

Ok lets break this down shall we? In this video we see 2 *Basic* teens arguing over somethin stupid.. Eventually the boy ended up punching the girl, then *Bodying* her on the ground..

The nigga seemed kinda lame & was obviously showing out but you can see where he told the girl to *gone somewhere* when he was tired of arguing & she put her hand in his face..

Now he aint have 2 react the way he did *He was WRONG* .. But all I'm saying is the girl *Knew* when it was time 2 back down but she wasnt smart enough to break her *Pride* so the results ended up as a *FAIL* on her behalf! lol

LEAVE MIKE ALONE!

Yeah Mike done got *arrested* again by da *Pigs* but we gotta give da man some credit.. He's been doin good lately & at least the brother has been tryin 2 change his attitude.. Once I heard this story I said *I bet the paparazzi was fuckin wit em* .. and sho nuff it was *TRUE*

I just hope *Oprah* understands this incident because she seemed to be pretty sympathetic for *Mike* ... We all like to be nosy & see whats happening in the *Celebrity* spotlight .. But sometimes these *Paparazzis* be fuckin wit ppl till they snap and this time they picked the right one!

PERSONAL THANK YOU!

Lately pretty much everybody seen my *Trey Songz Invented Sex Parody* .. It has pretty much went global in the black community being featured on sites such as *Worldstarhiphop.com/NecoleBitchie.com/TreySongz.com* and many others..

I must say that I am somewhat happy but not as happy as I'd like to be.. Like The Great *Michael Jackson* said *"I'm a perfectionist, I will never be satisfied"* .. Thats how I feel.. I in noway shape of form feel like I'm the *shit* because of my internet spark.. Kuz at the end of the day *Most* of these ppl are going to forget I even exist after this video..

Thats why I never settle & always drive *110%* in *Everything* I do.. I refuse for u ppl to forget about me.. And for the ppl that just think I'm plain *Crazy/nut/aint got em all* .. Well, just keep on thinking that.. U just haven't picked up on the big plot I've been trying to master thats all..

I just wanna say thank u to everybody that supported me since day 1 & the little fan base I have.. This wont be the last big spark for me, it'll be a hell of a lot more.. and eventually I'm gone prove *EVERYBODY* wrong that I can make success outside of the internet..

*But once again I just wanna take this humble time out to say thank u to all*

ANALYZE THE MOTION OF KANYE!

Its some things that an *Education* cant buy.. & thats *analyzation* .. We *All* know that *KanYe* is a weirdo.. But in my shape of form there are 2 types of of *Weirdos* .. Its 1 that you think is plain stupid & cant get right & the other are the 1's u call crazy cause you cant understand them..

*KanYe* is the 2nd 1.. U *Cant* understand em.. But I can.. I always said from *Day 1* we have lots in common..

But to get to the point, watch this video.. If u cant seem to analyze the *cause/purpose* of this short movie then keep watching until u do!.. He did a good acting job in this.. I respect all of his work even if he is an *Asshole* at times!

WE ALL PREG-CA-NANT!

I hate lookin at videos like this kuz *shits* like this pisses me off... Out of 800 female students at this school.. 115 of these *Basic Bitches* are preganant.. Pregnancy dont *Suprise* me at *ALL* no matter who the person is.. Thats the society I was raised up in..

But the thing that makes me mad is they making up stupid excuses like *If I have me a child I knew that my child was gone love me for who I am* .. I think these Females need 2 stop pointing fingers at the Men for the mistakes they made themselves.. It wasn't just the *Male* that *Fucked up* .. U *The Female* *Fucked up* also..

*And ppl wonder y kids turn out the way they do, because how u gone raise a baby & your a baby yourself?!?*

FUCK MICHAEL JORDAN?

I listened to this story that *Chamillionaire* gave about his experience with *Michael Jordan* & 1 thing I have 2 say is *I'm NOT suprised* .. Last year he was dissed by *MJ* at 1 of his parties & was shocked that *MJ* would act in such a way!

My thing is, let this video be a lesson 4 you *ALL* .. After u finish watching this video your gonna have 2 realize that you have to expect *ANYTHING* from ppl, specially *Celebs* .. Just because you see them act humble on their jobs doesn't mean they not gone act an *ass* to you!

Remember its just like you at your job.. Put on a fake smile at work to pay your bills, handle your buisness then do you at the end .. We cannot judge these ppl like we *know them*.. All we know is their *Work*

MUDA SUCKA!

I gotta phone call from my homie 2 weeks ago sayin that *Comedian Michael Blackson* was on *Judge Joe Brown* but I missed it.. 1 of my followers also told me it was on again & I missed that 1 too..

I was pissed off.. but now I've finally seen it & dude is a trip.. This is simply a case of a *nigga wit money* ..

*He knew he was gone lose, so he went in there not givin a damn & crackin jokes like he does for a living lol!*

WATCH YO MOUF DAMNIT!

Well, I cant say too much kuz we see stuff like this *All the time* .. We've seen lil girls ages *3-8* drop it low & all.. Just watch this video.. All I gotta say is when this girl gets older she's gone be 1 hell of a *Basic Bitch*

*Hell, she already is now!*

WHATS THE PROBLEM?

Every man seems to still want a piece of *Nia Long* .. apparently ya boy *Chris Rock* didn't.. The 2 was set up on a blind date & *Chris* said the date was going fine until *Nia* said *I know where 2 get some dick if I need it* .. My thing is, *Whats the problem?* .. Everybody says that!

*Nia come holla at me baby, It'll be my honor & duty 2 lay it on you on behalf of ALL the skinny brothaz since Chris don't wanna represent right!*

FREESTYLE BATTLE.. BUT WITH COMEDY?

This Freestyle Battle between *Arsonal & Conceited* was 1 *HELL* of a show.. Without spoiling the *adventure & comedy* u r about to receive.. I will say that 1 of these cats will have your guts hurting by the time u finish watching both of these videos below!

*May be long, but I promise u when the 2nd round kick off, u wont even care!*

SHIT THAT PISSES ME OFF! 2 TOPICS!

Every time I see this video it *pisses* me da hell off! All jokes aside but this is the true *BASIC* lifestyle .. I grew up around shit like this.. Even though I'm not from *Orlando*.. I'm always there & about 2 of these boys in the video are currently 1 of my *Juveniles* who I mentor at the Jail *Today* ..

This shit right here is ALL that I seen growing up, & alot of these proper ppl wonder y I am the way I am..

*But most of all, I chose 2 use my head.. If it wasnt 4 me moving after I graduated High School & for Spoken Word.. I'll be a nigga just like them!*

IT DONT GET ANY BETTER

I was on *YouTube* & typed in my city & the 1st thing I noticed was these *White Boys* .. As soon as the video played I heard da lil boy saying *Nigga* .. Then *ALL* of em started saying it!

I blame some of the *Black ppl* that they hang around cause they allow these boys to say & act this way! Thats why they are so comfortable! I swear 4 God as much as I'm on da black side *East Side/Hood* of my city u'll never find these *White Boys* spotted..

But what gets me is that *Most* white ppl come up spoiled getting everything they ever wanted *But* chose this lifestyle to be cool..

*And I never feel sorry 4 em when they die or get locked up.. U got what u wished 4!*

I KNEW IT WAS COMING SOON!

I'm not the type 2 wish *anything* on ppl but my prediction was *CORRECT* .. I said that *Soulja Boy* was gone end up going 2 jail 4 da way he been acting lately..

Dont get me wrong, I have a huge amount of *Respect* 4 *Soulja Boy* in alot of areas but this was *NOT* a suprise! And quite frankly, I dont think this is gonna be the *Last*

TALENT OF THE WEEK!!

This dude *Eebosofresh* on *YouTube* only made 7 videos & got the whole world checking him out with his *Original* talent .. Dude visualizes sounds in his head & uses his mouth, vocals, & fingers do the talking ..

*Double click the video if you want more of his entertainment, he go HARD*

AND THE BLACK GOSPEL AWARDS GOES TO...

I came cross this video of some *white man* singing *Long As I Got King Jesus* .. song that was made by Shirley Ceasor I believe..

This junk was funny, he pull *ALL* kinda acting into this!

*Church folks this is for you! lol*

DO U DRIVE WHILE IN-TEXT-I-CATED?

I dont have to say *ISH* .. just watch the video and you'll learn something! *SERIOUSLY*

BROKE ASS RAPPERS!

*Slim Thug* appeared on the *Daily Show* explaining how much the recession has affected him & most *Rappers* in general .. Although this video was full of comedy, 80% of the things he said were *TRUE* .. So heres a message 2 *ALL* u *So called wanna be Entertainers*

*If u think this life gone fix yo problems.. U got something else coming 4 ya!*