I COME 1ST!

I’m not the average Joe… I’m not your average mail man… I won’t always deliver you things that you want on that special day..

You see I’m a real picky guy and unlike some guys out there… I actually have standards for myself…

I follow my standards along with faith…. Everyone must do that.. Even in the Bible it says *faith without work is dead*

And I don’t beg to *God* for a girl because begging aint the way… I’m so sick and tired of everybody begging for a man or woman… specially females…

But what I do is pray to *God* for woman that I would like to have…

When I pray.. I tell em...

“ lord… I don’t come to you much asking you for a woman cause you know how I am… but lord… send me an all around respected woman… I want a black girl… don’t matter if full black as long as she got black in her… cause I love my sisters… A girl with natural long hair like my mamma.. with nice teeth and a girl that has a big juicy heart filled with humbleness..”

I love a girl with a big juicy heart.. Aint nothing like it… Somebody like that makes me wanna grab a straw and find the veins that’s surrounding the heart and drink it till I get full…

And when I get full that means I’m satisfied because I know that I drunk from a heart that can not only share humbleness for herself.. But can be shared with a man that was dehydrated from it..

You see in *Phillipians 4-6* says "let your request be known"… so I make sure I tell *God* what it is that I want and need because he is the only one that I know that can provide those things to me….

So I’m walking in the store… and *God* put me to the test *round 1*...

Beautiful sister… asked her for her number and took her out on the 1st date to a restaurant and she was too thugged out for me…

“Lord.. I’m back.. I appreciate you sending me a girl and all but.. Why you had to make her so aggressive?”

And he said “my child because you didn’t listen to me“… so I asked em for another one..

He replied “ok“.. And put me to the test *round 2*

found this girl at blockbuster… and was looking at the romance section.. So I asked her for her number and I took her out on our 1st date to a waterfall…

Waterfall is perfect… nice date with nature… but this girl loved nature a little too much.. She started kissing up on me (not like I aint like it)… and wanted to reveal the nature of her inner thighs to me within 40 mins..

And I went back to *God* and said

“lord… I told you I wanted an all around respected girl… why you send me that garbage? You knew waste management was suppose to pick her up last Monday..Why is that I never can get the one I’m looking for?"

And he said “my child, because you didn’t listen to me“… so I asked him for another one…

“alright" he replied.. "but I’m not sending you any more.. U better know what to do with this one”

So I saw this girl at work and she was the pretty girl girl with long hair and straight teeth that I had asked about…

And I spoke to her and we started vibin.. And asked her for her number and said I wanted to take her out tomorrow…

And she said "oh where you taking me? Seafood restaurant.. Poetry club?"

Don’t worry bout it.. Just put on the flyest outfit you can find and I’m gonna pick you up round 10 in da morning…

“10 in da morning? Where we going?”

Man we going to church….. “Church?”

Yeah church… didn’t I say in the beginning that I’m not the average Joe?

You see I just thought about it.. People wonder why they relationships don’t last long and I found that answer…

*God* gave me 3 tries to get my act together… He said "I come 1st in everything you do"… and a lot of folks forget that I’m in charge of your romance…"

that’s why its so many kids without fathers and parents that cant solve they problems…

"2 lovers can tell each other that they love em everyday… they both spend time with each other almost everyday…. And they say they miss you when they both miles away…"

"But I’m more than just miles away… why cant you tell me that you love me everyday? Why cant we keep a long distant relationship and tell me every now and then that you’ve been thinking bout me?"

"Why cant you hold your pillow tight and cry over me all all night?"

"But when a man or woman gave you cards and things for the past 7 months… don’t mean nothing…"

"I’ve been giving you things all your life from birth to death… and you cant cry over me?

You can go to the club and dance but in my house you shy of me?"

"Exactly.. that’s why I’m gonna end it between the 2 of you.. Because I thought you was gone claim me as your boo… I don’t ask much from you… "

"So break up with me and leave me out of your life…. And get into a relationship and see how much hell you go through!!"

FRIENEMY ROMANCE

If there’s ever a time when u need a place 2 rest & lay yo head.. I gotchu.. Kuz the bed & pillow I have prepared is all soft and fluffy for your relaxation meditation 2 free yo mind from the stress & pain that was caused by yo man..

*Cause it seems like he has a reputation of making his bed hard 4 women 2 lay in it uncomfortably.. with a pillow replaced by a rock to make sho you’d get no chance 2 sleep..*

No chance to eat or breath kuz your dreams of living the life of being held in the arms of prince charms like a real queen, confiscated the food out your belly and clogged your air supply 2 love him..

*How dare he, 2 face his image 2 lead yo heartbeat in the directions of misconception of his true character..*

Like when he pulled the Ethiopian stunt sayin he was a dog huntin 4 a virtuous woman to feed the hungry but behind closed doors aimed to reside in yo house and eat all yo shit up..

*Ran up yo credit along with monitoring your blood pressure with an inhale of herb 2 see how high it could exceed..*

Then waited patiently like Suge Knight for u 2 hit boiling point so he could set u up when u got ready 2 leave.. and restrain u with strike 2 da face.. cause aint no escape outta death row records..

*U fell into the palms of Mike Myers .. he constantly keep targeting u as his prey to gut your womanhood ..*

Water down yo spirit to make you feel less than what God created you to be.. not only did he miscount his blessings, but he mistreated them by telling you that the embryo he implanted inside u could die for all he gave a damn..

*Somebody needs to lend a helping these women and stand straight up in these jokaz faces with they chest poked..*

Shoulders broad, eyes squinted, and fist bawled to say we don’t take yo disrespect in consideration..

*Its hard enough as it is for a woman 2 find a good man in this nation.. So why be da instigator of her insecurity?*

Why should she have 2 use makeup to enhance her outer beauty from the blue bruises you imprinted?

*Enough questions asked .. I hope God create a lions den part 2 for u.. except subtract the lions.. Throw some young boys in there who were victims of double mbm .. Mothers mauled by men ..*

So they can beat the bitch outta you… then subtract the boys and install mirrors surrounding your presence so you can battle yourself ..

*Cause u need 2 gain self discipline on how 2 man up by sharing the bed with these women instead of manning down by forcing her to sleep on the hard cold floor with the comforter in your possession..*

Plain selfishness, I’m sick of brothers like you.. U make it just that much harder 4 men like me 2 oxy clean da stain u left on her life..

*Baby lift yo head up.. I laid out a soft bed for you .. Ralph lauren silk comforters, pillow fluffed, and some cash on da dresser for you to get yo hair and nails redone from wrestling with Ike Turner for decades..*

Then return home kuz I gotta selection of clothing layed out for u.. Balenciaga, Betsey Johnson and louboutin heels .. Pick whatever u feel that’ll make u adapt sexiness again inside and out..

*Then step out in public months later and bump into dat low down fool again.. And he gone drop a compliment saying “u look better than ever”*

Reply back saying thank you, I preciate u .. for da hell x’s hell u put me through.. U built my character.. And I think I speak on behalf of all women when I say …

*what don’t break a chick, make a chick!!*

MY 20TH B-DAY (MY AND BROTHER DRUNK)

*My 20th B-day* was small, I'm real low key.. but me and my brother was tow up.. my homie Brandon was there too watchin lol!

SPECIAL NEWS & THANKS!

For those thats been following me for the past month you know that I entered a big competition in the bay area.. The contest was signed by *Russel Simmons*, ran by a local man by the name of Eric Green..

Over *600 ppl auditioned* in the bay area, *40*went to the semis, *10* went to the finals.. Its was 5 categories, rapping, singing, dancing, spoken word, & miscellaneous.. as a primary spoken word artist I gave my homie Octavious *(From my hometown)* the chance to enter the category.. I myself chose to do *stand up comedy* in miscellaneous..

1 winner from every category won.. I ended up winning along with my homie *Octavious*.. 1 girl *(a fan)* came from out of town, paid *$14* at the door just to see me perform for 4 minutes.. I was kinda amazed by the impact I make on the internet, and its only gonna get worse..

At the end of the day I got what I wanted, I got my money & goin 2 *New York, LA, Miami* & so and so.. but overall I just wanted to show my mother that her son had a gift that *God* has blessed him with.. She thought I was completely crazy when she found out 1 month ago I was making insane videos, then was thrown off track when she found out I was into comedy..

*"Get a job son, work a 9-5, go to school"* she said.. Thats what every parent wants for their kids.. work, school, family, die.. Even though I may be taking a *HUGE* risk by not being in school, I promised myself as long as I'm progressing, making money, & not falling.. I will continue to keep doing what I'm doing..

If theres ever a time when I'm not moving then I will go back.. until then, my fire is still burning.. I'm just glad I proved her wrong.. I had the crowd in *tears screaming*, hell most of the laughs I heard was my mama behind my camera that she recorded..

But anyway I aint hear to preach & get into a sermon.. I just wanna say thank you 2 *ALL* the ppl that supported me, said "good luck, I'm praying for you" before my performance & all the ppl that complimented me afterwards.. Its hard 4 me 2 get at ppl 1 by 1 so writing notes is the only way 2 get 2 ALL..

*I still got a long way 2 go.. some things I wont tell/expose just yet cause I have big plans/plots comin up.. but once again I just wanna say thanks.. I love yall, foreal.. all this means alot!*